I Will Fucking Haymaker You If You Mention Agile Again
47 points by softskunk 1 year ago | 26 comments- melevittfl 1 year ago> I am practically drowning in stressed-out managers trying to figure out how they can do Agile better.
I think this highlights a big problem with Agile in many dysfunctional organisations. Management and execs think that “agile” means speed. That adopting agile will shorten the time needed to ship.
The author’s contention that a backlog growing at a faster rate then work getting done also belays a misunderstanding of the purpose of agile.
The author would be correct if everything on the backlog needed to be done. But that’s not the point. A backlog should consist of stories that express a unit of business value. So, that value can change and not everything on the backlog should be seen as having to get done.
- ludicity 1 year agoI'm the author, and this is a fair point, but whatever version of Agile you are describing is unrecognizable to me. It is not how most managers seem treat it due to a mixture of poor understanding and organizational pressure (for example: people love getting the brownie points for agreeing to work, and they don't want to take the political hit of ever admitting that some tasks will never be done to a stakeholder).
Most organizations I've seen simply put everything that they've decided needs to happen in the backlog, then do some sprints and call it a day. To be clear, this is not an Agile problem, it's a "our stakeholders have bad incentives and we can't engineer worth a damn" problem, but it is extremely tiresome to hear "not being Agile" being brought up so often instead of dealing with the real issues. To be clear, I am talking about the typical person in management, not your note.
- ludicity 1 year ago
- reftel 1 year agoOk, so you don’t like standup meetings. If you’re actually doing agile, then you’re in luck, because the whole point is that the team is considered competent to pick their own process. In the next retrospective, get the others in the team to agree to skip them, and you’re done. Good luck with that if you’re in some Taylorist org. Now, of course, there’s also the case of getting the worst of two worlds, with Scrum handed down from on high. In that case I’d recommend just getting out.
- nunez 1 year agoThis is an appropriate amount of rage for a standup that went too long.
And, I agree with the author; most stories in most sprints never get done (for a million reasons, 999,999 of them foundational) and just roll over from sprint to sprint to sprint until the inevitable collapse of the company (via M&A).
- zamalek 1 year agoI don't think the rage is totally uncalled for. A 15 minute standup on a 5 person team is actually over a full hour lost. Put another way, a company with 50 engineers doing 15 minute standup every day is over 400 work days of lost productivity each year - basically 2 engineers extra.
Assuming that stand-ups result in increased productivity, and that's a big assumption (likely exactly the opposite to the reality), have you really tallied up how much it's making vs how much it's costing?
It certainly makes me mad.
- apple4ever 1 year agoExactly! Standups are so wasteful, I cannot believe companies actually think they are okay. This from the article really sums it up:
> Which absolute fucking maniac in this room decided that the most sensible thing to do in a culture where everyone has way too many meetings was schedule recurring meetings every day?
- gsinclair 1 year agoGP said the rage was appropriate. I think you responded as if GP said the rage was inappropriate. Or did I miss an edit?
- zamalek 1 year agoPotentially dyslexia on my part.
- zamalek 1 year ago
- apple4ever 1 year ago
- zamalek 1 year ago
- foogazi 1 year agoDisappointed by the tone, sounds like a bad place to work at
>> Why do you have to have the daily meetings if all the details are supposed to be on the cards?
> I didn't have an answer for them because there is no answer.
Ahh - it’s just a misunderstanding
- dSebastien 1 year agoEach and every time I hear the world "Agile" at work, I get depressed.
It's everything but agile. It's always Scrum. It's always implemented as a way to pressure people to deliver faster, without ever reducing the scope.
The worst I've seen recently is business entities adopting "agile" and thinking that they're making progress. They get trained by certified Scrum "Masters" and embark on a painful journey, without even realizing that they're just brainwashed to use a super rigid approach...
- gedy 1 year agoIt's humorous, but for many types of projects, incremental development with frequent feedback (on working software) is the only way to move forward.
Agreed the ceremonies, tools, and general cargo culting sucks, and yes it likely means your product development planning is bad, etc. But living through development in pre-agile days, and 9-12 month fixed date SaaS projects with death march at the end, no thanks!
I get many young guys are fine with that D-Day style development, but not me sorry. I need work-life balance.
- MightyBuzzard 1 year ago[dead]
- MightyBuzzard 1 year ago
- kcplate 1 year agoOf course a post critical of the technoreligion of HN gets flagged. The zealots always have zero tolerance for the apostates.
- cm277 1 year agoI don't like this article. What will happen if Agile people all of a sudden stop preaching Agile or slightly rename it to Extreme Programming or something? how will we know then who's not a qualified project/product manager? how can we filter out orgs that don't know what they are doing?
Agile is super-useful. As a filter. Let's not break this, please.
- ludicity 1 year agoI'm the author, and funnily enough I absolutely agree. The moment a company thinks being "Agile" is interesting enough to mention at any stage during interviews, I'm out. I usually get to know the engineers at an employer well enough to confirm it was a good decision to ignore them after the fact.
Unfortunately, I still ended up joining one of these places because they made me an extremely comfortable offer... which I'm grateful for, but it sure doesn't make me any less pissed off every morning.
- ludicity 1 year ago
- exsomet 1 year agoIt feels like there’s been more of these sorts of posts lately that seem to embrace writing in an angry/raging tone, to the point that as a reader it’s hard (for me) not to lump them into the same category as those facebook/instagram memes circa-2018-19 that all began with “So let me get this straight…” (i.e. hard to take them seriously).
Among other things it’s distracting and it makes some assumptions about the frame of mindset of the person reading it that may not be accurate, when you start pushing this stuff out to larger audiences.
Anyways, it’s a shame because it detracts from what otherwise would be a set of valid (if well-known and frequently posted) criticisms of agile.
- noitpmeder 1 year ago> And that's ignoring all the retros that result in nothing, and grooming the backlog that we'll never clear and Christ, just stop.
This is the issue right here. If you're doing these tasks with no quantifiable benefit (useful retro outcomes, better understood backlog, ...) then sure, there is no use in continuing them. However, just because some teams fail at these tasks doesn't mean the tasks themselves are useless.
- jauntywundrkind 1 year agoMostly it's just that standup devolves into a non-useful transfer of what's happening.
If everyone is alone doing standup - and so often they rather are more alone than not - it illuminates how little the business groks itself. It defeats purpose when no one does a good job sharing yours.
Ideally we would have check-in points there meaningful exchange of what happened occurs.
- terminatornet 1 year agoour standup is supposed to be max 30 minutes and our product manager frequently runs over time with a bunch of discussion and debate that goes nowhere. Recently, I've taken to just leaving at the 30 minute mark for "my next meeting" or I turn my camera off and fire up my playstation. Highly recommend either option.
- melevittfl 1 year agoHmm. I’m a product manager. I never speak at stand ups. It’s not my meeting, it’s the team’s.
If something needs further discussion, then a follow up discussion with one or two people is enough.
- kcplate 1 year agoI rarely speak—but I will answer direct questions and will admit more than once have gone off on a short rant when I hear finger pointing for effect.
- kcplate 1 year ago
- melevittfl 1 year ago
- syndicatedjelly 1 year agoAgile isn't about raising the bar, it's about raising the floor. Agile is for the worst employees, not the best ones. It's about holding their hands through every single moment of their workday, and letting go at 5PM to say "see you tomorrow!"
It's a complete joke.
- 29athrowaway 1 year ago> You're agreeing to everything because your stakeholders are whiny children with a deficient understanding of business and no one can say no to them.
That was for sure the case before agile, when the only decision maker was the project manager.
- theRealArgherna 1 year agoSomebody needs a hug.
- enius 1 year ago[flagged]
- fswd 1 year agoWhat does it mean to go Haymaker on you, am I up against the Amish? That being said I've seen agile fail so hard in so many ways. Currently I'm dealing with incomponent people trying to design and assign tasks.
- tunared 1 year agoMeans dropping haymakers or swinging his hardest with each punch. No jabs, no uppercuts, just pure power generated from the hatred of the agile stand up meetings. More than likely a fellow Gen Xer who grew up playing punch out and watching Mike Tyson fight.
- timmaxw 1 year agohaymaker (noun) a powerful blow with the fist.
etymology: "the punch probably so called for resemblance to the wide swinging stroke of a scythe"
- tunared 1 year ago