But the reality might be as simple as she didn't like you that much, just as you might not like random people for random reasons. People want to hire people they like talking to. Hiring is rarely as simple as Candidate A scored 19/20 on the tech questions we asked, but Candidate B scored 18/20 on the tech questions we asked, so we automatically must go with Candidate A if Candidate B seemed a lot more easy-going and cool to talk to.

If you sounded boring or rude to her or whatever or if your voice sounded unpleasant or whatever to her ear, maybe she didn't want to contemplate dealing with you 8 hours per day for the next few years. I guess the best thing you can do is try and figure out what makes your interviewer tick and try and bond with them over that. This is a tough pill to swallow for many of us introverts in the tech world who have to force themselves to be socially on for interviews, but this is part of the process unfortunately, particularly when not dealing with other super technical people in interviews.

Put it in context, though.

1. The culture might based on convoluted psychological theories. The culture might value asshole behavior. The culture might value people skills over technical skills.

None of those is a reflection on you…assuming you’re not offered a job in an asshole culture.

2. Finding reasons to reject candidates is most of the work of a hiring pipeline. There’s one job and a hundred qualified applications. Again that’s not a reflection on you.

3. If it was a great place to work, they would probably be hiring through personal networks not talking to strangers.

4. Bullshit interview questions can measure how a candidate navigates bullshit. Selection for thigh high bullshit boots is useful in organizations with a lot of bullshit.

5. Yes not getting a job sucks. But if you walk in looking for a job, you’ll probably walk out looking for a job.

Good luck.

Five months later, they laid off all but four people. That was in September or October 2008, when economically it looked like the world was ending.

I thank God they turned me down.

It has a lot with you behaving in a way that will be acceptable/enjoyable to the team.

This does not mean that you have to be like them! I have all kind of personalities in several teams and they differ vastly. The thing that binds them is that they like to spend their time at the office together (and for some of them - outside the office too).

Of course this is not measurable and some people are just a "chemical fit", and some others are not. This does not mean that there is something wrong with you (or them, or us) - we are just different in the way we want to be together.

- Do you play any instrument? Say the trumpet, the piano... anything?

I did play the guitar all my life.

- No, I don't.

- Anyone on your family have that "knack" for instruments? Something-something art?

- No mam.

Of course I was turned down.

One thing that I can say about these bullshit questions though, is that to maximize chances, you can go ahead and try to be fun. No funny. Fun.

"Yes, I worked with home-automation, had some clients, I did everything from business to coding..."

instead you can do

"That was a time in my life that I really excited about. You ever had one of those situations where you jump out of bed an you just wanna get to work? Man those were the days... so, home-automation..."

Sucks as an introvert to put with stuff like this, but it only takes an hour, and it's six figures later on.

Money is the number one reason, age probably two. Sex, race, nationality closely follow.

Next time look her up on facebook, check out her family photos, videos and minic her likes and mannerisms. You will be surprised how little actual qualifications are needed for a role. But no one does this because the effort isn't worth the reward but for some top jobs it might be.

First of all would you have said “an HR man” if that was the case?

Second, it’s somebody’s job to determine who’s a good fit or not. Sometimes they get it right and sometimes they get it wrong. But it’s their call. If they’re good at it, they might get to keep doing it. And if they’re bad at it, they might not get to keep doing it.

Honestly this is partially why it’s preferable to let people know that a company is moving ahead with other candidates but never give a reason. Just invites follow-up questions and confusion when the reason is that someone at the company didn’t want to hire you.

However, I've never had a company that didn't want to pay say that. They have nothing to lose by saying "we decided that you are out of our budget".

and it's not unethical or illegal. what we think is right and what we feel right are two different things.

maybe logically you're a great candidate, yet her gut feeling just tells her you're not a good fit there.

In fairness though, they don’t owe you an explanation.